So I'm officially taken again, after months of ground work. I, however, find myself missing my ex fiancee still. I've come to the conclusion that it's not the man that I miss because he hurt me and cheated, etc. It's the feeling of just being so in love and building a future and being each others' best friend and making the commitment to spend the rest of our lives together and showing that through the ring. It was amazing and that's what I long for and what makes me miss those years I was with him. I miss those years until I remember how much time I spent upset and alone while he was out doing whatever and I don't miss the man, I miss the feelings.



**EDIT**
And here's the blog entry I posted on myspace, more thought out but generally the same sentiment

Much to my liking, I'm officially taken again. Still, I find myself thinking back to when I was engaged. It's not the man that I miss but the feelings. Tony is doing wonderfully and has finally gotten it right with a big happy family. I'm proud of him and happy for him and JJ. What I miss is the significance of a ring. That commitment to commit to spending the rest of your life with someone. That feeling of being so in love and being loved back with the same passion. What was the most wonderful, I think, was being each others' best friend and that was the hardest part to get over, but the most magical when it was real. The combination of all those things is so hard to find. It's so hard to "get it right" and find "the one." I know that the feelings can be obtained again given time with the right person and the memories inspire me to want to try again instead of focusing on the hurt and being afraid to love again. I try to live by the addages, "Love like you've never been hurt." and "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."